George Sees Stars

George Sees Stars

by Dave Couper

The Happy Holiday Hotel is a small English hotel near the sea. These people work there:

George the hotel manager

Mary    she helps George (George and Mary are married.)

Judy     the cook

Peter    an old man. He helps outside in the garden and carries the bags in the hotel.

Scene 1 The telephone call

(In the Happy Holiday Hotel. It is three o'clock. George is talking to Mary) (The telephone rings.)

George Hello? Happy Holiday Hotel. George Harris here ... Yes, I am the manager ... Tony who? Oh, Tony Madoc the TV star. You're Tony Madoc's secretary. I see ... Yes, that's fine ... You want a large room for Tony and he wants to see the sea. Right? Yes, yes, I know - Tony's very important. A TV star. Yes ... Fish, you say? Yes, that's easy. Right, then. Today ... Tony's coming today. Fine ... Goodbye, and thank you!

(George puts down the telephone.)

George Today ... Tony's coming today! Mary, listen! I've got good news!

Mary    Don't shout George. What is it?

George Tony Madoc - you know, the television star - is coming to our hotel this afternoon!

Mary    Who?

George Tony Madoc. He's famous! He's coming here at five o'clock today!

Mary    He's a TV star, you say? Is he in Neighbours? I don't watch TV very much.

George Neighbours? Probably. He's going to have our best room and our best food. I'm going to look

              at the room now.

Mary    Fine, George, but I'm busy. I'm going to the supermarket.

George Don't be silly, Mary. You can't go to the shops now. He is a famous man. Do you 

              understand? An important person.

Mary    Tony Madoc? I don't know him. Is he very rich?

George I don't know, Mary. But he's very important. I know that.

Mary    Yes ... Well ... I'm going to the shops now. See you later, George.

George But, Mary... stop!

Scene 2 Fish for dinner

(In the kitchen.)

George Good morning, Judy! We've got good news. Tony Madoc is coming today. The famous TV star.

Judy     Tony who? I don't think I know the name ... I don't like TV. I like reading. Tony  Madoc ...?

George That's right, Tony Madoc. Now what have you got for dinner? Have you got any fish? He

              likes fish, his secretary says.

Judy     No, I haven't got any fish today, Mr Harris. Sorry. I've got some chicken.

George No. He wants fish. Can you buy some?

Judy     Oh no, Mr Harris! I never buy fish on Thursdays. I always buy chicken.

George Well, his secretary says fish, not chicken. Right?

Judy     Don't shout at me. I don't like it. I'm leaving. I'm not going to buy anything. I'm going home.

George No Judy, please ... stop! I'm sorry Judy. You're a good cook, Judy, a beautiful cook. Please

             don't leave now. Mr Madoc is coming here today and he wants fish. Please, please, please

             Judy, go and buy some nice fish.

Judy     No. It's chicken on Thursdays. Right?

George Oh, OK Judy ... chicken.

Scene 3 Flowers

(In the garden.)

Peter    Hello, Mr Harris. You don't usually come into the garden. Can I help you?

George Hello, Peter. I need some flowers for our best room.

Peter    What? Ten hours on the telephone? That's a long time ... and expensive too!

George No, Peter. Not ten hours! I want SOME FLOWERS for our best ROOM.

Peter    OK, OK. Don't shout, Mr Harris. I can hear you. Flowers. I've got lots of flowers.

George Thanks, Peter. They're for an important TV star. He's coming here today.

Peter    What's that? Your green car?

George No, Peter. No. A TV STAR, HERE TODAY!

Peter    OK, Mr Harris. Don't shout, don't shout. I can hear you.

Scene 4 The new light for Tony's room

(In the corridor.)

George Mary, can you help me? Take these flowers to Tony's room, please. I've got this new light for 

              the room. Do you like it?

(The new light is green. It has yellow and red flowers on it.)

Mary    Oh, George! It's horrible. You can't put that in his room!

George Yes, I can. I think it's beautiful. I like it and I'm going to put it up now. Can you help me?

Mary    Oh, all right. Give me the flowers.

(In the room.)

George Hold the ladder, Mary. I'm going to put the light up. Careful, now!

Mary    I want a cup of coffee.

George Please, Mary. Not now. Hold the ladder for me ... Careful! There!

Mary    Ouch! You're standing on my hand.

George Hold the ladder, Mary. Don't go, Mary ...! Ah! Help!

(He falls off the ladder.)

George Ooh ... my head!

Scene 5 An old woman arrives

(It is five o'clock. A woman is getting out of a taxi.)

Woman Good afternoon! Are you the manager?

George  Er, no ... yes! Yes, I am.

Woman Have you got a room here for me?

George  A room? Oh no. I'm afraid we're full. We're very busy this year.

Woman What! No rooms. Busy? But I think my ...

George  That's right, no rooms. We've got important people in the hotel today. But er ... what's your name?

Woman Margaret Adams. And I'm tired, too.

George  Oh, all right. Come in.

(In the hotel again.)

George  Yes, you can have a room for one or two nights. But it's small and you can't see the sea. Woman But I want to see the sea. Have you got any other rooms?

George  I don't know ... No. There isn't another room. We're very busy, you see.

Woman And I'm very tired. The small room's OK. Why are you busy?

George  A famous TV star is coming.

Woman Oh, very interesting. Do you like TV?

George  No ... er ... yes! Very much.

Woman Yes, I do too. I like films best.

(She laughs.)

George Here's your key. Your room is number 5.

Woman Thank you. I'm going up to my room now. Please bring my bag - it's outside, in the street.

(The woman goes out.)

George Her bag? I haven't got time. I can't take her bag to her room.

(George carries the woman's bag into the hotel and quickly Ruts it in a cupboard. Mary comes in. She is drinking coffee.)

Mary    Who's that woman, George?

George That's ... er ... Miss Adams. She's in room 5.

Mary    Oh, that's a horrible room. It's very small and you can't see the sea.

George That's right. But it is quiet. It's fine for her. She's only going to stay for one or two nights.

              Do you like the new light in the big room? It's nice, I think ... very nice.

Mary    It's horrible, George. Red and yellow flowers! Ugh! And it's very big. Is it safe?

George  Safe? Yes, oh yes, it's safe. Ha, ha!

Scene 6 The TV star

(It is half past five. A young man is coming into the hotel carrying a small bag. He is wearing jeans.)

George      Oh, hello, hello. Welcome!

Young man Hello.

George     Thank you, thank you, thank you.

(He takes the man's hand.)

Young man That's OK ... er, why?

George  You've got the big room, and there's a new light in there for you too – a beautiful new light.

Young man Very nice. Thank you very much. But I don't understand.

George     Well, you're famous. You're a TV star.

Young man Me? Famous? A TV star?

(He laughs.)

George     And here's the key to your room. I can take your bag.

Young man Oh, thank you, but it's not heavy. I can carry it. And I'm not famous.

George     Yes, you are.

Young man But I'm not.

George     Ah, I see ... you're not famous. You don't want any TV cameras here. Ha, ha! Yes, I understand.

Young man You understand?

George     Yes. You want a quiet holiday. You're not famous. Ha, ha! All right, I understand.

Young man Good. Can I see the sea from my room?

George     Oh, yes, it's one of the rooms in the front of the hotel. It's very nice.

Young man Is it expensive? I haven't got a lot of money, you know.

George     That's OK. I like you. I don't need the money. For you, the room is free!

Young man I don't understand ...

George     Mary! Mary! Come here! Come and meet Mr Madoc!

(Mary comes in. She is holding a cup of coffee.)

Mary     What do you want now?

George    Mary, meet Mr Madoc. This is my wife, Mary.

(George takes Mary's arm. Her coffee goes over the young man's jeans.)

Mary       Oh, I'm very sorry! Your jeans! I'm sorry, Mr... Mr...

Young man Mr Brown. Paul Brown.

George     I'm sorry, Mr Madoc. Please excuse my wife. We can clean your jeans for you here. I'm very sorry.

Young man Oh, it's all right. It isn't important. I can wash my jeans.

Mary       I'm sorry, Mr Brown.

George    Don't be silly, Mary! His name is Mr Madoc.

Young man Er, no ... my name is Paul Brown.

George   Yes, Mary, in this hotel his name is Paul Brown, but on TV his name is Tony Madoc.  You

                understand ... he wants a quiet holiday.

(He smiles at the young man.)

Young man What?

George  Mary, please ask Peter to take Mr Brown's bag to his room. Quickly now! Thank you.

Mary     Can I get another cup of coffee?

George  No, Mary, you can't. The bag, Mary. Do you like flowers, Mr Brown? You've got some

               nice flowers in your room. They're from our garden, you know.

Young man Oh, no. I'm sorry. I don't like flowers very much.

George     Fine, fine. I don't like flowers either. Mary, put the flowers in the kitchen, please.

Mary        But Peter's going to be very angry, George.

George     In the kitchen, Mary.

(Mary and the young man go out. The woman comes in.)

Woman     Excuse me, but where's my bag?

George      What? Oh, your bag? It's here.

Woman     I need it in my room.

George     Yes, yes. I'm sorry, Mrs ... er ... but not now. I am going to take it to your room, but I'm very busy now. We have a very important person in the hotel.

Woman    But my glasses are in the bag. I can't learn the new play without my glasses ...

George     Sorry, Mrs ... er ... not now.

(The young man comes in again.)

George     Mr Brown! There you are! Is the room OK, Mr Brown?

Young man Yes, it's fine, thank you.

George     Good, good. Would you like anything? A drink? Some champagne? A television?

Young man No, nothing, thank you.

George   Please, have a drink. Mary! Bring a bottle of champagne.

(Mary comes in.)

Mary      Champagne, George?

George   Yes, bring a bottle of champagne and ask Peter to put the television in Mr Brown's room.

Young man But I don't like television and I don't drink champagne, thank you very much.

Mary      He doesn't want them, George.

Young man I'm going out for a walk near the sea now. What time is dinner?

George Dinner's at half past seven, Mr Brown. Mary, go to the kitchen and talk to Judy about dinner, please.

Mary    Don't shout, George. I'm going.

(Mary goes to the kitchen. The young man goes out. George goes back to reception.)

Woman    My bag, please, Mr Harris.

George     Ah yes. It's here, in the cupboard. You can take it to your room now ...

Woman    But I can't carry the bag. It's very heavy and I'm 74 years old.

George     Oh, all right. Give it to me.

(He goes to the cupboard and takes out her bag. They go out.)

Scene 7 I don't like champagne

(In the hotel's restaurant. It is after eight o'clock. George is looking at a picture on the wall. The old woman is sitting at a table.)

Woman Mr Harris!

George Yes?

Woman I'd like my dinner now, please. It's ten minutes past eight now, you know.

George Oh, I'm sorry. We're very busy today. What would you like?

Woman I'd like some fish.

George I'm sorry, Mrs ... er ... we haven't got any fish. No. There isn't any fish.

Woman Oh well. What about a pizza? There's 'Pizza' here on the menu.

George  Sorry, there's no pizza today.

Woman No pizza ... Well, what have you got?

George Chicken. We've got chicken.

Woman All right. I'd like some chicken, please.

(George is not listening. The young man is coming into the restaurant. George goes to Mr Brown's table.)

George Hello, Mr Brown. Here's your table.

(Mr Brown sits down.)

Can I help you? What can I get for you?

Woman     I'd like some chicken, please, Mr Harris.

George      All right, Mrs ... er ... all right. Don't shout. I'm sorry, Mr ...

Woman     I'd like a glass of...

George      Champagne, Mr Brown? Would you like some champagne now? It's free.

Young man No, thanks. A glass of water, please.

George     Please have some champagne.

Young man No, no. I don't like champagne.

Woman     I'd like a glass of water, please.

(George goes to the woman's table. He is angry.)

George Mrs ... er ...

Woman My name is Adams. Miss Adams.

George Miss Adams. We have a famous TV star here and we're very busy. I can't do everything. Do

              you understand that?

Woman Oh yes, I understand. I am a TV star.

George  Who? What! You're a TV star?

Woman That's right. My name is Toni Madoc.

George  But Tony Madoc is a man.

Woman Oh no -Toni' is a woman's name too! T-O-N-I. My real name is Margaret Adams but on TV  

              my name is Toni Madoc.

George  What? Oh no!

Woman Yes, Mr Harris. And now I'm going to leave this hotel, the 'Happy Holiday Hotel'. I don't

know about 'happy' but I know it isn't good! And I'm not happy here - I've got a small room, I can't see the sea, and Mr Harris, you're a very silly man!

(Toni Madoc goes out of the restaurant. George looks at the young man sadly.)

George     And who are you?

Young man I'm Paul Brown.

George     You're not the TV star?

Young man No, Mr Harris. I'm a student.

George     A student!

(He runs to the door.)

George  Miss Madoc! Miss Madoc! Please don't leave. Have some champagne! Please! It's free.

Scene 8 George sees stars

(In the corridor, outside the big room. The woman is talking to Mary. Mary has got the woman's bag.)

Mary   I'm very sorry. George is silly sometimes. We can move you to the big room and the young

            man can have the other room. Please don't leave now!

(In the big room Mary and Toni Madoc are looking out of the window. George runs into the room.)

George      Miss Madoc! Here you are! Please stay! You can have the room for nothing -free!

(He takes her arm.)

Toni Madoc No, I'm sorry. Goodbye, Mr Harris.

(She is standing under the new lamp. Suddenly the lamp begins to fall.)

Mary        George ... Stop! Listen!

(George pushes the woman. She falls over. George falls on top of her. The lamp falls on George's head. He lies there and doesn't move.)

Mary        Miss Madoc. Are you all right?

Toni Madoc I'm fine. (She gets up.) But how is Mr Harris?

Mary        George? George! Speak to me, George!

Toni Madoc Oh, Mr Harris! Are you all right?

(They look at George. He doesn't speak or move.)

Mary     That horrible light isn't safe. Oh George, can you hear me? Please say something, George.

Toni Madoc Now I understand! That lamp nearly ... and Mr Harris ... oh, what a nice man! Because

                     of Mr Harris I'm safe! Thank you, Mr Harris ... thank you, George.

George  Champagne?

Toni Madoc What a nice man! Thank you, Mrs Harris.

Mary  Don't thank me - thank silly old George. Would you like a glass of champagne now, Miss Madoc?

(They go out. George is lying on the floor. He slowly opens one eye.)

George    He's very ... No, she's very, very famous. She's a star ...